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Taking care of someone with
Alzheimer's disease can be a demanding task. It requires time and energy. Even
looking after someone you love can be difficult. Even with youth and good health
on your side, care giving can be hard. To continue giving care, it is essential
that you look after yourself. Knowing and recognizing the signs of stress in
yourself or someone you care about is the first step in taking action. Finding
ways to reduce the stress will help to lessen the long-term emotional and
physical toll of care giving. As a caregiver you should take care of yourself;
you are the most important person in the life of someone with Alzheimer's disease.
The following is a list of common signs of
caregiver stress. Review the list and if you or someone you know is experiencing
a number of symptoms on a regular basis, call your doctor or contact us at the
Alzheimer Society of Guelph-Wellington for help.
1. Denial about the disease and its
effect on the person affected. "I know Mom will get better. They must have
made a mistake." ...
2. Anger at the person with Alzheimer's disease and others. "If he asks me that question once more I will
scream!" ...
3. Withdrawing socially - you no longer want to stay in touch with
friends or participate in activities you once enjoyed. "I don't care about
getting together with the neighbours anymore." ...
4. Anxiety about facing another day and what the future holds.
"I'm worried about what will happen when I can no longer provide
care." ...
5. Depression - you feel sad and hopeless much of the time. "I
don't care anymore." ..
6. Exhaustion - you barely have the energy to complete your daily
tasks. "I don't have the energy to do anything anymore." ...
7. Sleeplessness- you wake up in the middle of the night or have
nightmares and stressful dreams. "I rarely sleep through the night,
listening to hear if Dad is out of bed." ...
8. Emotional reactions - you cry at minor upsets; you are often
irritable. "I cried when the grocery store was out of my favourite cereal.
Then I yelled at the clerk." ...
9. Lack of concentration - you have trouble focusing and you find it
difficult to complete complex tasks. "I used to do the daily crossword, now
I am lucky if I can concentrate enough to solve on quarter of it."
...
10. Health problems ... you may lose or gain weight, get sick more
often (colds, flu), you may develop chronic health problems (backaches,
headaches, high blood pressure). "Since the spring, I have had either a
cold or the flu. I just can't seem to shake them."
There are things that can be done to help you maintain your health and
well-being. The following are some suggestions that might relieve some
stress. Try different methods; you may find other ways that help you more.
1. Learn about the disease and giving care ... then pass it on
Knowing as much as you can about the disease and care strategies will prepare
you for the Alzheimer journey. Understanding how the disease affects the
individual will help you to stay connected to the person and adapt to the
changes. Sharing this information with family and friends will enable them to
understand what is happening and better prepare them to provide you with the
help and support you need.
2. Be realistic...about the disease
It is important, though difficult, to be realistic about the disease and its
effects. Alzheimer's disease is a progressive disease: gradually the person you
are caring for will get worse. Once you are realistic, it will be easier for you
to adjust what you can expect of him/her.
3. Be realistic...about yourself
It is important to realize that caring for someone takes time and energy. There
will be limits to what you can do. You will have to decide what is most
important to you. What do you value most? a walk with the person you are caring
for, time by yourself or a tidy house? There is no "right" answer;
only you know what matters most to you at any particular time.
Besides making choices, you will have to set limits on what you can do in a day.
It may be difficult to admit you can't do everything. It is not easy to say
"no." Be realistic and think carefully about how much you can do and
where you need help.
4. Accept your feelings
When caring for someone, you will have many mixed feelings. In just one day, you
may feel contented, angry, guilty, happy, sad, embarrassed, afraid and helpless.
These feelings maybe confusing and difficult to handle. However, they are
neither good nor bad; they are normal. Negative feelings do not mean that you
are not a good caregiver; they mean you are human. Recognize that you are doing
the best you can.
5. Share your feelings
It is important to share your feelings with others. Find someone you are
comfortable with, then talk about how you feel or what is troubling you. This
person may be a close friend or family member, someone you met at an Alzheimer
support group, a member of your religious community or a health care
professional.
6. Look for good things
Your attitude can make a big difference to the way you feel. Try to look at the
positive side of things. Look at what the person can still do. Try to make every
day count. There can still be times that are special and worthwhile.
7. Take care of yourself
Your own health is important. Do not ignore it. Eat proper meals and try to
exercise regularly. Find ways to relax and make sure you get the rest you need.
Make regular appointments with your doctor for check-ups. These things will help
you deal with stress and allow you to continue to give good care.
As well, you need regular breaks so you can have interests outside of care
giving. Do not wait until you are too exhausted to plan this. Take time to keep
up with things that are important to you. This will give you strength and help
prevent you from feeling lonely and isolated.
8. Look for humour
Alzheimer's disease is serious, but you do not have to take yourself seriously all
of the time. Seeing humour in situations does not lessen the sincerity of your
care.
9. Get help
Support ... you will need the support that comes from sharing thoughts and
feelings with others. Find a way that you are comfortable with; individually
with a professional or as part of an Alzheimer support group.
Practical help...it can be hard to ask for and accept help. It is important to
know that asking for help is not a sign of poor care giving. You need to realize
that you cannot care for a person with Alzheimer's disease alone.
Ask family and friends for help; most people are only too willing to help. There
are programs to provide you with relief or assistance with household chores and
care giving tasks.
Determine what kind of help you need, and let people know.
10. Plan for the future
Planning for the future can help in relieving stress. When the person with
Alzheimer Disease is able, review his/her financial situation and plan
accordingly. Choices related to future health and personal care decisions should
be considered and, when necessary, recorded. Consider, as well, an alternate
care giving plan should you be unable to continue giving care.
Living with someone with Alzheimer's disease can be
challenging. We have learned that by understanding the disease and its effects,
learning more about how to give care, taking care of yourself, asking for help,
accepting help, being creative, patient, and realistic, and planning for the
future, life can be easier.
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